50 years is a remarkable thing

Today marks my parents Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary, a feat which regrettably is not too common today. Cynics may say that they have stayed together out of convention, or comfortability, others may cite co-dependence but I know better.
Pam and Tom although both English have very little in common, other than parents that knew each other and the fact they are both only children. The Home Economics teacher without much self confidence and the sometimes troublemaker tradesman met and fell in love, somehow fulfilling a need in each other. Respect, admiration and love along with the common need to belong to someone and raise a family where love abounded brought this unlikely but very much in love pair together but did not erase the very real independence they both hold dear. This is expressed most days in very vocal differences of opinion which can be quite comical but which serve the real purpose of reminding each other they are still individuals. Totally devoted to each other they have grown together through financially hard times, parental relationship run ins (Pam's parents lived in a Granny flat at the back of their house), sickness, self willed teenagers, adult children woes and countless other situations that can bring couples closer together or drive a wedge between them. Constant sparks flying keeps the heat and intensity in their relationship which does not allow comfortability or convenience to creep in.
It has taken me a long time to understand the two of them and to be honest I'm still in the dark as to just how their relationship works but they have been a fine example of how two people can allow each other to grow in their own ways while still remaining intimately connected.
My husband and I will celebrate our Thirtieth Anniversary this year and despite having a very different relationship than my parents we know that it is partly thanks to their example of solidarity when times are tough that helped us push through hard times when giving up would have been easier.
So to Thomas Penlington and Pamela Kay Salt I want to say Congratulations, you have something and have reached a milestone that many people will never have. Together you have shown those around you that it is possible for two totally different people to live together without compromising self but also that two people can act as one to be victorious in love.
Nothing can beat that, nothing can stand against it, nothing not even separation can erase the love you have because it lives on inside of me and I am so glad it does.

                                         Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad

Sleep, glorious sleep!

It always amazes me that we take sleep so much for granted. Sleep, the most glorious of times when our body digests, rejuvinates, repairs, organises, backs up and prepares for the day ahead.
When we say we don't sleep well, it's not the action of sleeping that is the problem
it's that our bodies are not functioning at their optimum, not firing on all cylinders.

For Mums of young babies and children, sleep seems like a promised activity that never really arrives, for the overtired it is an oasis in a desert, for the stressed most desired but unobtainable and for the ill, welcome relief from pain.


I have had long periods of insomnia and I can tell you they aren't pleasant. I also have times when in my cycle of bi-polar I am manic and my body tells me I don't need to sleep (but it lies). Depression can also bring on insomnia as well as wanting to sleep all the time.  

I have always tried not to stress about sleep as it only makes it worse.
As a young mother a good friend told me "instead of worrying about the lack of sleep you do get, enjoy every moment you can rest and add that to your sleep time". It's amazing that if we just chill out while doing something that requires us to be still (breastfeeding etc) that you can rest and that is really what sleep is all about. Take every chance to take a nap even if its for 10 minutes as a rejuvenating nap can be as beneficial as a long one according to sleep specialists.

Going to bed too early can be just as much a problem as going too late, unless you are feeling tired don't go to bed. A regular time to go to bed is good but don't go if you're jumping around the room. A routine of a hot shower or a series of tasks helps your body get the signal its bed time.

Now when I can't sleep I go through a routine:
1. I don't lie in bed for more than 20 minutes
2. I get up and have a hot drink and some carbohydrate (if you're not on a diet) a digestive biscuit is a good choice
3. I try to do an activity that I know will make me sleepy, then as soon as I feel the urge to shut my eyes go straight to bed
4. If that doesn't work I find a brief hot shower helps enormously
5. I avoid sleeping tablets if possible as they don't actually allow you to get proper REM sleep which is vital to feel really rested. After all the point is to be rested not to be zonked out.
Good luck to anyone who is finding sleep difficult, remember the more you worry about it the worse it will get, so don't stress about not sleeping as then you won't sleep.
So Good Night, Sleep Tight and dont let the Bed Bugs Bite!

Do we know what our kids will turn out like?

I recently found my son Jethro's grade 4 report card. It was an interesting read. In some ways it was no surprise but in others it brought back memories that I had long forgotten. Which got me thinking, can we predict the future in regards to our children? Do the characteristics, idiosyncricies and prevications give us a hint as to what our grown up children will be doing?
Well my answer is yes and no.
My daughter Michelle who was never much for anything to do with home making, the countryside or animals, cooking or organisation for that matter (When her room got so untidy she couldn't even get into bed because it was under so much mess, she used to move into her brother's room and mess that up so much that he then went and cleaned her room up so she would move back...) has just bought her first house with her husband in the country which has enough room for an organic vegetable garden and chickens (she raises them now) and a goat as she wants to make goats milk products. She is also an excellent cook and a manager of an organics store, which she does so well they have doubled their profits three years running. When she was a child I never would have guessed!
My first boy Benjamin on the other hand was born a scientist. He would alphabetise everything, was more organised with paper work than I was, kept his room fanatically clean analysed everything including politics from a young age and asked for a copy of 'Greys Anatomy' for his tenth birthday. No surprises there when he had a PhD at 22 in you guessed it Scientific Research.
Now Jethro on the other hand was predictable in some ways but not in others. For a boy who would not read a book until in grade 9 when he started with Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings' it came as a bit of a surprise when he wanted to do drama and loved Shakespeare. Not one to necessarily like hard work, his one year stint lugging bananas on a banana farm was remarkable until you take into account he was courting Anna (his wife) at the time and she also worked there. However his easy going character, love of people and caring nature means that it is not surprising he is working as a Youth Worker with troubled teenagers.
So a mixed bag really.
I think you get glimpses of what they may become, God's influence in their lives makes way for character alterations and other influences may move them in a certain direction but they are not set in stone. Your influence as a parent has a huge impact even if you don't realise it at the time. Things they complained about as a child become their habits as adults. Often they take something you may have dabbled in and make it their own.
I don't believe children are blank canvases nor are they born with set futures but are a mixture of both. God creates individual people who have the potential to go in a variety of ways whether we see them or not.