A dog's life!

This morning we had to take our dog, Merlin to the vet due to a sore hind leg which had progressed to a significant limp over a few weeks. Now Merlin hates going to the vet, in fact Merlin hates going in the car  despite the fact that most of the journeys he makes in it are positive ones, he always reverts back to the trip to the vet or the dog kennels where he stays while we are away. 
Forget the trips to the beach or drives to a big park where he can run and play, his sole focus in the car is escaping from the awful thing that 'might' happen. 

While we were waiting to go in a man arrived with a very tiny chiwawa puppy that had been rescued after being left for dead after being burnt in a terrible accident. The pup was so small it fitted into the palm of my hand but despite her size she was very feisty. Merlin took a sniff and when she yapped at him he ran away in fright refusing to return for a more lengthy meet and greet. We all laughed at his cowardice but when I returned home I started thinking about Merlin's reactions to the mornings proceedings; he like us, often chooses to only remember the negative things about situations rather than being open to a surprise or a confirmation that something positive is going to happen. Just like him we run away from something new even when it is so small it can't possibly do us any harm. His decision to hide behind Stephen rather than investigate further mirrors our response to the 'new' things in life we weren't expecting. We tell others 'it was such a shock', 'it will take time to get used to' or 'I'll never get the hang of it' rather than seeing an opportunity for growth or a new perspective. 
Just because the car ride does sometimes mean something unpleasant doesn't mean it always does. Why waste the energy fretting, sighing and crying before you are sure. Merlin got himself so flustered that when he didn't have to have any injections and it all ended with a treat he looked totally amazed. All that panic (slobber, whining, scratched legs and very loud car ride) for nothing. 
Don't be like Merlin embrace the day even if it contains an unknown quantity, for the unknown may just turn out to be the pleasant surprise we weren't expecting.

Perfect Peace

Profound stillness, peace that passes all understanding, calm in the midst of a storm, these are the times that the still small voice of God resonates within. It doesn't need to be quiet around us as it is rare that at the time we need this peace that our lives are calm but we do need to make the choice to shut our eyes and take a moment to dwell in peace. 
Just as a child who has spent the day madly running around suddenly feels the urge to climb up in your lap and rest a while, so too we need to find God's lap and drink in of his reassurance and peace. 
In a time when I should be able to rest I am faced with seemingly almost no spare time. Even though I am on 'holidays' unfinished work beckons, much neglected house work that cannot wait another term and unfinished projects I've been promising myself I would finish all confront my so called 'holiday'. Nevertheless this morning I choose to make time to sit a spell and just be. It will still be there once I am at rest, the time out will not consume my day but it will make the day ahead bearable, more manageable and less frenetic. 
Peace is not found in navel gazing or an enforced sense of order but in the choice to view my world through God's eyes; seeing myself, my roles in life as He sees it. Knowing I am more than what I do! First and foremost I am a child of God, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend; my role as a teacher needs to submit to these rather than the other way round. Only then will I find true peace.
God's way is not meant to complicate our lives with ritual but bring order out of chaos, peace out of turmoil, satisfaction out of frustration. In the past ignoring what I needed to do in order to try to relax during my time off has resulted in a restless, forced peace which is not peace at all. 
Today I will determine to allow God's peace to consume me, infiltrate my being and bring that stillness from the 'Prince of Peace' that I so badly need. I've thrown away my schedule but kept my list, ticking off as I go along the things I have to do, however on that list are peaceful pursuits, pleasant activities, exercise and 'retail therapy' and not only the 'tasks' that need doing.

Restoring order to my work life

As some of you might know I have a condition called Bipolar disorder. There are a few different types but I have the one where the Depressive and Manic states change quite rapidly and do not come in long cycles. This is a blessing in some ways but it also creates problems because people do not understand why my mood can switch so often and so rapidly.

It has taken a long time just to come to terms with this condition and for those of you who are Christians I have come to see it as a medical condition just like diabetes or heart problems. I believe God wants to heal me but in the meantime I will take medication and do all I can to understand and learn to cope with what can be very debilitating at times.

I was only correctly diagnosed at around 40 years of age but knew something was very wrong from about 35. It has taken until now to look more deeply into the intricacies of the disorder and begin to work out ways in which to deal with the associated issues rather than just the condition itself.

It takes time to come to an acceptance of this as part of me (No I'm not claiming it as mine) and it will take more time to work out ways to buffer the affects it has on my life. My life at home is aided by an amazing husband and family to such an extent that I don't even think about it most of the time. Work however is a completely different story.

Any mental illness is aggravated by stress and being a teacher this tends to come with the job. Now I don't mean the worrying kind of stress but stresses of deadlines, long hours, being very organised, student behaviour issues, never ending paperwork and generally not being able to keep up with the every growing demands. Teaching has changed dramatically since I started almost ten years ago, it has become less flexible, paperwork crazy and the expectations are at times just down right impossible to meet. Add to that my own expectations of what I want my classes to look like and how I want to teach and it makes for a very complex and emotional roller-coaster.

Some of you may say, "find yourself another job" and believe me I have thought of that but I don't want to do a job that is not meaningful, doesn't challenge me or use the giftings and talents I know God has given me. I know I am where God wants me to be for the moment so I need to begin to work out ways in which I can work efficiently alongside the challenges Bipolar disorder throws at me. 

As a child I was always forgetful and began using lists to organise my thoughts and responsibilities in order to be efficient. I still use lists but am finding that it is not that simple when you are bombarded with a multitude of paperwork and marking, not to mention phone calls home, reporting, professional development .........

Anxiety, a feeling of hopelessness when dealing with so much paperwork, exhaustion, working far too many hours (at least ten a day at work, plus two hours at home a night and five hours on the weekend) means my thoughts are often cluttered, disorganised and downright messy. 

This is my quest, my journey of discovery to a way to deal with and conquer the despair I have been feeling of late. I have been so down on myself and my superiors have not helped, 'If you can't cope then find another job!' I refuse to give up but know I have to begin a new journey and with God by my side I know I can succeed.

Join me as I take this exciting journey and pray with me that I can enjoy the 'sound mind' I have in God's promises.

To attend or not to attend?

I am a passionate teacher I want all my students to learn, to benefit from the choices an education can bring. I know they are not all going to be scholars but so many of them are bright intelligent students who are using the excuse of 'I'm dumb' to justify their disinterest. 


For a teacher it is hard to fathom why students who have so much offered to them can waste the opportunity of an education.  


By choosing not to attend school or attending spasmodically they are literally thumbing their noses at an opportunity to have the skills to fight for the life they want for themselves. If the school only offered academic pathways I could understand the rebellion but our school offers trade, technical, hospitality, computer and academic pathways in a number of different formats. TAFE is only next door and traineeships, apprenticeships and other forms of learning are offered from Grade 10. 


Parents do not enforce attendance and often make excuses for students who do not attend regularly. This is a problem across the spectrum of cultures and ethnicity but especially for our Indigenous students. 


Time off for family events is acceptable but usually non attendance is the result of students who can't get out of bed in time or want to hang out with mates during the day. 
There are numerous extra curricular activities that focus on indigenous and other cultural interests and an ever expanding litany of helps for literacy empowerment. Payment options for school textbooks are offered and not taken up so many students don't even have the basic tools necessary for learning. Others have the materials but don't bring them to school.


I know the jadedness that some indigenous people feel when dealing with a 'white' centred system but I'm stumped at what else we could possibly do. The school offers Indigenous studies, Indigenous history and many pathways for students to continue on into careers where they could work with their own culture as well as opportunities in other areas. 
So what is the answer? I have no idea. I have spent most of this year teaching various genres of Indigenous literature and texts in year 8 & 9 and the majority of non attendees are Indigenous. 


Contact with parents is almost impossible as many do not answer phone calls or return calls. Very few come to parent-teacher interviews despite arrangements for an indigenous community worker to be present if they wish. 

Health is such a wonderful thing!

Like everything else in life we often don't realise just how blessed we are until something is taken away from us. However right now I can't remember the last time I was in good health. So another diagnosis of something serious was a kick in the guts to be perfectly honest. Now that's not a whinge or complaint just a fact of life for me over most of the past 49 years.
I have been a Christian since I was 18 and have always believed in God's healing power for me. However that doesn't take away the physical facts that I have had 6 major operations for disfunctioning body parts, 8 operations for cysts and abcesses in places I don't want to mention, have scarred lungs, asthma, bi-polar disorder, get migraine headaches, have psoriatic arthritis (a kind of rheumotoid arthritis) and now another diagnosis of something nasty. 
On many occassions God has given me the strength to endure pain and to keep going when I didn't think I could. I have achieved a great deal in my life despite the debilitation that these health problems have caused. God has used me in many instances in speaking into the lives of people who are struggling with health issues and has used me to bring His healing to their bodies.
But I had a sudden feeling of being totally overwhelmed when my doctor gave me the news that I was a diabetic not long ago. I sat down and howled, not because of the diabetes but I suppose because I felt it was another blow to my already battered body. The diabetes was not a complete surprise but as I had been fighting to make sure it didn't happen I was very disappointed. Many of the other health complaints, complications, effects on my body and subsequent medication has not done my cause any good.
Now before anyone comments I am not resigned to be ill the rest of my life nor am I accepting sickness as my lot. I believe God has healed all our diseases when his Son died for us, but I do know that the evidence of that healing may not always be apparent or the healing may not come straight away. I love that my christian friends can believe with me for my total healing and also understand why those who do not know God might find my attitude just a little strange.
At times however I must admit, I'm not perfect. Sometimes I have a pity party, sometimes I just break down and cry but most of the time I just get up and keep going because I don't have a choice. I can't quit on life or hope because I know that both are precious gifts from God, but some days are easier than others.
I have stood on prayer lines, prayed and fasted, learned all I could about healing and am open to whatever God wants to do. The problem often isn't me but other people (yes the Christians). They range from the 'don't even say the name of the illness because that means you have accepted it' to 'It's all a matter of faith dear, just believe and you will be healed, if not you don't have enough faith' or even the opposite 'we all have our crosses to bare'.

So what's a girl to do you may ask? Well she keeps going even when she falls down, she ignores ignorant comments, she makes the most of when she does feel well and listens to the encouragement that many of the people in my life give.
I am not a hyperchondriac although some may think so, nor am I a drama queen. In actual fact I don't think most people who know me realise how really sick I am but it doesn't matter anyway as God knows me, He looks after me, He is with me whatever I face. He doesn't want me sick I know that, He doesn't make me sick to learn something I know that too and as to why? I don't know, I've researched theological texts, done healing schools and have seen people healed by God as I have layed my hands on them. I know God heals! As for me I am a child of God who has every right to claim my healing and expect it. I continue to do so regardless of what people think or say.
I am healed through the stripes Christ bore for my diseases, just as surely as I am saved by His death on the cross. Nothing will ever make me believe otherwise.
So if I look down sometimes or am having a day where I need to talk things through don't be fooled I am not beaten, just gathering my boldness and strength to take on whatever Satan throws at me. The good news is I win, in the end I know I win and my body will be whole and without blemish in Heaven.

The lowest of lows :'(

No I' m not talking about me but someone close to me who has hit rock bottom. No where else to go but up. Oh but how it hurts, what regret & sorrow for mistakes made, things left undone or unsaid. A life which had such promise but now at 40 is a mess! He is not the only one to blame but if you allow others to control your life then you invite disaster! You cannot be who you are not even for someone you love because in the end keeping up the pretence is exhausting and substance abuse follows dragging you down even further. The person who you were pretending for then deserts you and you are left alone and friendless. So called christian friends find you embarrassing so they stop calling and you are in the pit of despair. BUT GOD! Oh those beautiful two words, that bring hope and comfort. God doesn't put conditions on His help, we just need to ask! Swallow our pride or what's left of it and cry out to God. psalm 109 v21-28 is David's lament & should be ours too. Dear friends if you are reading this then I pray that when someone around you hits rock bottom, don't run, be Jesus to that person, I'm not talking about enabling bad behaviour but I am saying be Christ to them. Love unconditionally with care & compassion. Encourage even when it seems hopeless, you may be the one thing that draws them back to God. It is all too easy to have a They've made their bed so let them lie in it attitude but do you really think that is what Christ would do? Be strong for them, be their eyes when all they can see is despair, gently remind them to look up for then they can see God. For there by the grace of God go you or I. Nobody is perfect or without sin. Sin is sin no matter what it is!

Sleep, sleep, sleep

Now I know women of a certain age seem to blame everything on menopause but I really think that it is the cause of my sleeplessness. I am waking up boiling hot and then not being able to get back to sleep. Even getting to sleep when I'm dead tired is impossible lately. I go to bed and lie there for about 30 minutes at which stage I get up and do something until I'm so tired I can't see properly and only then can I seem to drift off into dream land. Does anyone have any suggestions. I've tried herbal remedies, hot milk, earlier bed times, later bed times, a hot shower before going to bed, reading in bed, not reading in bed and nothing seems to work. Am I going cuckoo or is menopause really to blame? Tell me what you think people as I'm beginning to see stars during the day as I'm so tired when I have to wake up! Help (^o^)

The weight of the matter

I bought myself a weekly planner this year not because I need another one as I have my phone and numerous other planners for work but because this one is called "Women, Food and God". Every week it has a comment or statement to think about and I am using it as a kind of journal in my attempt to come to terms with my general health and therefore my weight issue. Now I'm saying all of my health issues are weight related but at least some of them are and so need to be acknowledged.
Through the first 3 weeks of the year I have started to see my thoughts about food and eating for what they are the 'falsehoods' that I have believed from my childhood and into my adult life. What I think about food and the emotions it brings up in me are more of a issue than calorie counting will ever be. I mean I've done that and a myriad of other very successful things which have resulted in dramatic weight loss over the past 45 years (yes, my mother put me on a diet when I was 4!) I have a sister who besides eating exactly what I did as a child, did less exercise, played fewer sports and ate rubbish all the time never had a problem with weight, I however was never allowed 'Daddy treats' such as chip, chocolate or lollies instead I got magazines!
I sat down and looked at all the things that have and still do affect what and how I eat. The first realisation was that there were a lot of them so many in fact I kind of panicked to start with but here are just a few:

• Seeing food as the enemy (I know I shouldn't it is after all just food, all foods are good in moderation and it is the fuel of life). This came from my childhood and the prevailing attitude in our household - not blaming anyone, just stating facts.
• Using food as a reward (again I know I shouldn't and don't actually consciously do it but I know that whether I want to or not that is what I do). Chocolate as a pacifier when I was upset as a child started this but again I'm not blaming anyone.
• My feelings and food are intertwined, it is and for the most part always has been an obsession and has kept me prisoner whether on a diet or trying not to diet. The fact that to go on a diet I have to concentrate on food is not a good things as thinking about it puts me back at square one - dwelling on food. Meal planning becomes an obsession in itself! Ignoring what I am eating is sometimes a way of cutting off the strings that bind but how can I ignore it if I'm counting calories?
• Food issues and Bi-Polar disorder are bad company, mood and food are far too often linked.
• I'm tired of people thinking they have the right to 'inform' me of the rightness or wrongness of my food choices! For goodness sake I am an intelligent woman who has been a Weight Watchers consultant and knows more about food and nutrition than most people. But contrary to Government opinion 'Education' is not going to bring about food salvation for everyone. I know what to do, it's doing it that is the problem.
• My weight is not me! However it is so intrinsically wound up in what I believe about myself that it seems to have become me (without my permission). I cannot think about my life, self worth or future without referring to it.
• The weight issue is a serious inpediment to the deeper relationship I want to have with God! God needs to be number 1 not my worry about what size I am!
• Whether I want to admit it or not it is an issue in my relationship with my husband. He has never made a critical comment or told me what to do but I know there are things we can't do because I just cant do them and that makes me sad.

This is only a short list! But enough to show me that this is not an easy fix! In fact I am decided I am not going on another diet until I work this out. Maybe with a counsellor or psychologist etc but definitely with somebody as I can't do the standard thing anymore as I don't think I could take another ultimate failure. I always lose weight when I get serious but the food thing never actually goes away, one obsession gets buried by another until the first rears its ugly head.
So I'm putting my friends and family on notice, I am going to resolve this and this is the first step, making it public, giving myself no excuse but to act!

A quote from last week "What we believe about food and eating is an exquisite reflection of all our beliefs about ourselves. As soon as food comes out, the feelings come out, there is an inevitable recognition of the self inflicted violence and suffering that fuels any obsession. And on the heels of that recognition come the willingness to engage with and unwind the suffering rather than remain its prisoner"
Geneen Roth, "When food is love" Andrews McCleod, Missouri, 2011.

In my next post I'll outline the second step in my journey. Please feel free to comment and/or pray for me as I undertake what feels like the biggest assignment of my life. This is not a journey to be done alone....

Things you wished you had or hadn't said

Sometimes someone says something to you and you are so gobsmacked you don't know what to say. This happened to me the other day when a friend* told me my husband was a heretic. I mean just what can you say to a statement like that? I did ask why, but the answer was vague and not very specific saying they had investigated it thoroughly but had thrown away the evidence as they didn't want to cause a fuss! Even if I hadn't been struck dumb what could I have said anyway. "No he isn't" I mean there just isn't anything that would be adequate.
On the other hand I have said things I wish I hadn't or rather written emails I wish I hadn't. You know the sort of reaction to something that is really bugging you but then after some time you have a different perspective but can't take the email back.
I must admit I take things far too personally. I am overly emotional and although I'm much better than I used to be I still get upset when I know I shouldn't.
There's no use hiding it, I am very unsure of myself, not very confident in fact despite the fact that I know that I am more than capable in most areas of my life, that nagging doubt follows me around like an unwanted dog.
This poses problems when dealing with others who don't know me or don't know me very well. I am a talker and enjoy talking through problems or issues until we reach mutual understanding. I often ask those around me if I suspect there is a problem 'Have I done something to offend you', often it works as an ice breaker in a difficult circumstance but sometimes they look at me as if I've gone mad.
Getting to know people even new members of the family is very difficult when we live so far apart. The time we do spend together is so rushed and intense and often packed into a only a few days that long chats are just not possible.
So what is the answer, to speak or not to speak? I guess that is where wisdom comes in.
My prayer for 2012 is for wisdom, for the insight to know what the person is speaking out of: hurt, insecurity, personal experience, a bad day etc. There is no other way than to be led by the Holy Spirit.
So that is one of my goals for the year, to incline my ear to the Spirit and take his lead. Then I will hopefully have the right thing to say or just keep my mouth shut!

What would you have said to the heretic allegation?

50 years is a remarkable thing

Today marks my parents Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary, a feat which regrettably is not too common today. Cynics may say that they have stayed together out of convention, or comfortability, others may cite co-dependence but I know better.
Pam and Tom although both English have very little in common, other than parents that knew each other and the fact they are both only children. The Home Economics teacher without much self confidence and the sometimes troublemaker tradesman met and fell in love, somehow fulfilling a need in each other. Respect, admiration and love along with the common need to belong to someone and raise a family where love abounded brought this unlikely but very much in love pair together but did not erase the very real independence they both hold dear. This is expressed most days in very vocal differences of opinion which can be quite comical but which serve the real purpose of reminding each other they are still individuals. Totally devoted to each other they have grown together through financially hard times, parental relationship run ins (Pam's parents lived in a Granny flat at the back of their house), sickness, self willed teenagers, adult children woes and countless other situations that can bring couples closer together or drive a wedge between them. Constant sparks flying keeps the heat and intensity in their relationship which does not allow comfortability or convenience to creep in.
It has taken me a long time to understand the two of them and to be honest I'm still in the dark as to just how their relationship works but they have been a fine example of how two people can allow each other to grow in their own ways while still remaining intimately connected.
My husband and I will celebrate our Thirtieth Anniversary this year and despite having a very different relationship than my parents we know that it is partly thanks to their example of solidarity when times are tough that helped us push through hard times when giving up would have been easier.
So to Thomas Penlington and Pamela Kay Salt I want to say Congratulations, you have something and have reached a milestone that many people will never have. Together you have shown those around you that it is possible for two totally different people to live together without compromising self but also that two people can act as one to be victorious in love.
Nothing can beat that, nothing can stand against it, nothing not even separation can erase the love you have because it lives on inside of me and I am so glad it does.

                                         Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad

Sleep, glorious sleep!

It always amazes me that we take sleep so much for granted. Sleep, the most glorious of times when our body digests, rejuvinates, repairs, organises, backs up and prepares for the day ahead.
When we say we don't sleep well, it's not the action of sleeping that is the problem
it's that our bodies are not functioning at their optimum, not firing on all cylinders.

For Mums of young babies and children, sleep seems like a promised activity that never really arrives, for the overtired it is an oasis in a desert, for the stressed most desired but unobtainable and for the ill, welcome relief from pain.


I have had long periods of insomnia and I can tell you they aren't pleasant. I also have times when in my cycle of bi-polar I am manic and my body tells me I don't need to sleep (but it lies). Depression can also bring on insomnia as well as wanting to sleep all the time.  

I have always tried not to stress about sleep as it only makes it worse.
As a young mother a good friend told me "instead of worrying about the lack of sleep you do get, enjoy every moment you can rest and add that to your sleep time". It's amazing that if we just chill out while doing something that requires us to be still (breastfeeding etc) that you can rest and that is really what sleep is all about. Take every chance to take a nap even if its for 10 minutes as a rejuvenating nap can be as beneficial as a long one according to sleep specialists.

Going to bed too early can be just as much a problem as going too late, unless you are feeling tired don't go to bed. A regular time to go to bed is good but don't go if you're jumping around the room. A routine of a hot shower or a series of tasks helps your body get the signal its bed time.

Now when I can't sleep I go through a routine:
1. I don't lie in bed for more than 20 minutes
2. I get up and have a hot drink and some carbohydrate (if you're not on a diet) a digestive biscuit is a good choice
3. I try to do an activity that I know will make me sleepy, then as soon as I feel the urge to shut my eyes go straight to bed
4. If that doesn't work I find a brief hot shower helps enormously
5. I avoid sleeping tablets if possible as they don't actually allow you to get proper REM sleep which is vital to feel really rested. After all the point is to be rested not to be zonked out.
Good luck to anyone who is finding sleep difficult, remember the more you worry about it the worse it will get, so don't stress about not sleeping as then you won't sleep.
So Good Night, Sleep Tight and dont let the Bed Bugs Bite!

Do we know what our kids will turn out like?

I recently found my son Jethro's grade 4 report card. It was an interesting read. In some ways it was no surprise but in others it brought back memories that I had long forgotten. Which got me thinking, can we predict the future in regards to our children? Do the characteristics, idiosyncricies and prevications give us a hint as to what our grown up children will be doing?
Well my answer is yes and no.
My daughter Michelle who was never much for anything to do with home making, the countryside or animals, cooking or organisation for that matter (When her room got so untidy she couldn't even get into bed because it was under so much mess, she used to move into her brother's room and mess that up so much that he then went and cleaned her room up so she would move back...) has just bought her first house with her husband in the country which has enough room for an organic vegetable garden and chickens (she raises them now) and a goat as she wants to make goats milk products. She is also an excellent cook and a manager of an organics store, which she does so well they have doubled their profits three years running. When she was a child I never would have guessed!
My first boy Benjamin on the other hand was born a scientist. He would alphabetise everything, was more organised with paper work than I was, kept his room fanatically clean analysed everything including politics from a young age and asked for a copy of 'Greys Anatomy' for his tenth birthday. No surprises there when he had a PhD at 22 in you guessed it Scientific Research.
Now Jethro on the other hand was predictable in some ways but not in others. For a boy who would not read a book until in grade 9 when he started with Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings' it came as a bit of a surprise when he wanted to do drama and loved Shakespeare. Not one to necessarily like hard work, his one year stint lugging bananas on a banana farm was remarkable until you take into account he was courting Anna (his wife) at the time and she also worked there. However his easy going character, love of people and caring nature means that it is not surprising he is working as a Youth Worker with troubled teenagers.
So a mixed bag really.
I think you get glimpses of what they may become, God's influence in their lives makes way for character alterations and other influences may move them in a certain direction but they are not set in stone. Your influence as a parent has a huge impact even if you don't realise it at the time. Things they complained about as a child become their habits as adults. Often they take something you may have dabbled in and make it their own.
I don't believe children are blank canvases nor are they born with set futures but are a mixture of both. God creates individual people who have the potential to go in a variety of ways whether we see them or not.

World Teacher's Day

Tomorrow is world teacher's day so I thought I'd give you all a heads up on what being a teacher is really all about.
Forget the pithy sayings written on coffee mugs which suggest you are a world changer 'one student at a time'. That is not to say that we don't do that, I firmly believe we are an integral part of a child's life but that isn't the reality of every day teaching.
The reality is that we are motivational, organisational, behavioural experts who on a good day get to teach something which may or may not be of use to our students.
Schools are a great testament to 19th Century industrialisation but have nothing to do with teaching children to live in the 21st Century. If they did they would look very different.
Schools today are a paradox, teachers who have studied education and know the students don't get any say in what students learn. Instead governments, other adults and every man and his dog get to have their say in what schools should teach but not the ones who are doing the teaching.
Adults who hated school think we should teach what they learned, business wants what suits them, governments want what will make them look good but nobody really considers what students really need.
The public are consulted in TV interviews when statistics come out, government spokes people talk about getting back to basics and every time there is a social problem schools are told we should be tackling that issue.
Schools today teach sexual health, road safety, drugs and alcohol safety, bullying, resilience, organ donation, blood donation, water safety, water conservation, social skills, job interview skills, legal rights ...... as well as english, maths, science, history, geography, environmental science, social studies, information technology, japanese, hpe, sport and a myriad of electives.
Add to this parents who expect us to teach behaviour, manners, social skills, self discipline, social awareness as well as most other parental duties that they no longer want and then complain if we give homework as they can't deal with it. Most parents don't help students with spelling, revision (what's that?), research (no not plagarising from google) or anything that would help their child when they are at school.
It's no wonder that the average number of years that teachers last in the profession is '5'. Yes '5'!
Don't get me wrong I love my profession, I wouldn't do anything else but it is a major challenge everyday and is not what most people think of when they think of teachers.
So spare a thought for teachers tomorrow, they are amazing, wonderful, creative people who wouldn't be doing the job if they weren't passionate about it because it definitely isn't a walk in the park!

Blossom Heart: Chadstone - We Survived

Blossom Heart: Chadstone - We Survived

The quality of mercy is not strained.

When we think we've gone too far, done the unthinkable and gone beyond the pale. If we have exhausted everyone elses patience with us. Have reached rock bottom with no where else to go but up, then there is mercy.
Mercy, picks us up and holds us when we don't deserve it, it enfolds us in love when we have been unlovely, wipes away our tears in times of grief and sorrow even if of our own making.
God's mercy and grace make a mockery of Karma. We don't get what we deserve but what God wants to give us. Forgiveness, love, understanding, hope and the knowledge that we are never too far for God not to find us, never too reckless that God can not rescue us. Mercy is by definition for such as these, those who have used up everyone elses patience, hope and trust. For God alone is truly merciful, He alone has the power to love us enough to bend and pick us up.
Had bad news tonight from one I love dearly, who is broken, beaten by their own actions, caught in a nightmare that they can't escape from. I have only two words of comfort BUT GOD...
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son"
"Through Jesus Christ all our sins are forgiven"
"Christ came for the sick and lost for those in need not the well and righteous"
When all seems lost - God
When I've gone too far - God
When I'm ashamed - God
When others hate me - God
When I'm so broken - God
When I know it's my fault - God
God's grace and mercy, is not meted out only for those who haven't gone too far, it is for us all because we have all gone too far. Judgement is not yet upon us, but forgiveness is for us now.
Will He take the consequences away? No, but He will help you through, He will make a way, He will undertake for you because He loves you.
Don't spend time in regret, regret is not a positive response, confess your wrong doing and the attitudes of mind that got you here in the first place, repent at the foot of the cross, accept forgiveness and then rest in Him.
Only He can take you on a journey of restoration, turn you back on the path of righteousness so you can get up and live, live for Him, live regardless, live like you have everything to live for because you do.

God is Good Even When We're Not

I am overawed by how God can take something negative and create something fresh, positive and exciting. Even when we do the wrong thing God can create opportunities for growth, understanding and peace.
Our God is not into Karma, Karma means we get what we deserve, our God is into grace and mercy.
We need to stop beating ourselves up expecting the worst when we err, but acknowledge our mistakes, pray for forgiveness and then sit back and see what God can make out of it.
Sometimes we learn through consequences because that is what we need but in other situations God truly amazes us by creating a 'silk purse out of a sow's ear'.
This isn't an excuse to sin but a challenge to truly believe that God means us good, in all circumstances.
No matter who we are, God wants relationship, He wants to build His kingdom, it isn't all about us, it is all about Him. His pleasure, His glory, His Mercy, His Grace, His power, His will for this earth and all who inhabit it.
When God does a miracle by taking a mess and creating something beautiful we need to acknowledge it, feel humbled and thankful, giving Him all the glory.

For our God is truly the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in all, through all and forever.

Realising creativity

Realising that life is not something that is waiting to start when you get your head around it is something that many people; including myself, have failed to comprehend until recently. We give lip service to living every moment and cherishing the memories but have we actually done that or have we secretly been waiting in the wings for someone to shout 'action'. Nothing goes the way you expected it would, not life, career or relationships. It's not that they are not as they should be, it's just they are not necessarily what we were expecting.
Maybe that's why we reach those milestones in life like 30, 40 or 50 and seem to have a mini breakdown, we suddently remember that life has already started and a good portion of it is over.
I have no major regrets in my life, in fact I think when it comes to the big things I've done pretty well. I married a Godly man of good character, with whom I share the most amazing relationship, we have raised three beautiful children who have married equally suitable partners and I have managed to reinvent myself career wise more than a few times.
However the goals I set for myself were not defined enough that I actually ever pursued them with vigour. What I did besides from relationships that is, I did out of necessity rather than inspiration.
The question now is can I plan my goals and work towards them? Do I dare to dream enough? Work enough, be tenacious and fight enough? The answer if I'm honest is I'm not sure. Can I the procrastinator, dabbler, queen of the multiple ideas at a time be centred enough to pursue one thing?
I hope so. I want to believe so but deep down do I have the confidence, the stickability?
It's funny I know my children can do it. I watch them grow and follow their dreams, invent their lives, break out of the mould and I wonder where it comes from. Where did they get such impetus, drive, determination? Then I smile and I know where they got it, from me.
I may not be all I want to be, achieve all I want to achieve but I know that between their father and me we have nurtured tough, goal setting individuals who will do what maybe we couldn't do. No I'm not saying I won't do what I dream of doing, but I know I passed on the desire to achieve, to go with your gut instincts, to have a go because the only thing you'll regret is not taking the chance when you could.
Maybe things like that take generations to grow, I know my grandfather wanted to leave everything and move to Cairns, he never did, but I did. My parents gave up  career opportunities because they would have to leave family, but I moved away.
My mother didn't try things because she was afraid of failing but I have tried what she only dreamed of doing.
So maybe I'm not so powerless after all, maybe it's just a matter of perspective. I will keep on dreaming, working, analysing and maybe someday I'll look back and say, I did it!

Is it just me?

I just read a blog by a lovely young woman I really admire. She is a woman of few words, but those words penetrate through all the froth and bubble and hit your heart with a thud. I love her talent for saying what she means and leaving it at that. Shawna you're a star!

I'm not going to say "I wish I could do that" as I'm not doing the 'I wish I had someone elses talent whinge' but I do love things that are refreshingly elegant. Elegance is 'just enough for a large impact' like a simple but elegant dress which packs a punch by being cut well rather than having lots of accessories or frills.
I have to say I'm not like that, either in my writing, dressing, home or anything else for that matter. I used to try to be, always looking for ways to be seen as elegant, then one day I realised I was despising what God had given me.
As I've said in previous blogs, I love colour, texture, the wild and unusual. I love to find the different, out of the box, crazy things so being elegant is just never going to happen.
But I can admire and enjoy elegance, in whatever form it takes.

Accepting yourself the way you are, in regards to your personality and style is a huge achievement, one I am embracing more and more as I grow older. I've come to realise that often the people I admire (not you Shawna), want to be someone else and so we all spend far too much time thinking 'if only'.
My advice to everyone and anyone is take a good look at yourself, find your hidden talents, idiosyncrasies, your style and embrace them. It makes life so much easier and far less burdensome. Stop judging yourself by other peoples standards, God is the only standard and He is a much less harsher task master than we often think He is. If you are honestly giving Him your heart and living your life in relationship with Him, if He is challenging you (notice I don't say berating or condemning as only satan does that) and you are listening then stop fretting.
Learning to like yourself is probably the hardest thing you will ever do but it brings such release it is worth it.

Analogies that make you go ?

I have to share these “funniest analogies” with you. They came in an e-mail from a friend, who got them from who knows where but they are funny. The e-mail says they are taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Some of these kids may have bright futures as comic writers. What do you think?
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
3. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Chinese chicken.
4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
5. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
6. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
8. Jason fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
9. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re in another city and the news comes on at 6:00 p.m. instead of 6:30pm.
10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Brisbane at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 85 kph, the other from the Gold Coast at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 55 kph.
13. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
14. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
15. Shots rang out, as shots do.
16. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
18. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
19. It was an Austraian tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
20. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up

And to all of you who think that these couldn't possibly be real, I say, spend a day in my classroom.

Low level disruption can be worse than the extremes!

I found this comforting and useful, see what you think!
Low Level Disruption. Can you kick it? Yes, you can.
A stream cuts a score down a mountain until it becomes a ravine, and then a valley. It doesn’t do this because it’s powerful. It succeeds by persistence and patience, using the same weapon with which a weed splits a paving slab: time. A student can do the same to your lesson, and eventually your sanity, if they are allowed to drip, drip, drip away at you. Low level disruption is what teachers face most of all, and most often. You can forget the staffroom stories of deodorant-can flamethrowers and chairs thrown through windows (actually don’t forget about them; anything is possible), because the reality of the job is mostly a playful brook (not a torrent) of niggly, annoying behaviours that will wear you down in a thousand cuts.
Low level disruption appears, in isolation, like nothing at all. It’s hardly worth even mentioning to your non-teaching pals when you emerge from your educational cocoon at the weekend and pretend to have a normal life. But when you combine the cumulative effects of all those tiny, persistent little goblins chattering away around you, it adds up to an ocean of misery, a long night of the soul that stretches out forever. Low level disruption is like kryptonite for the well planned lesson.
What qualifies as low-level disruption? I can offer two answers: a definition, and examples. Examples are easier to start with: chair-rocking, pen-tapping, chatting over others, chatting over you, passing notes, passing wind, entering late, chewing gum, texting, drawing in their book, poking their partners…in fact maybe it isn’t so easy to exhaustively categorise it. Let’s define it instead: anything that slows down the flow of your lesson without actually blowing it out of the water. I usually define it as ‘anything that annoys me’, although that might not be very useful to you, not being me and all. It’s the little stuff, the wriggly, niggly behaviour that pupils do instead of learning when they don’t have the moxie to tell you to stick your lesson where even OfSTED won’t go.
And that’s why it’s so corrosive; because of all the things you’ll have to handle as a teacher, this stuff will be constantly with you, looking over your shoulder like Long John Silver’s parrot, pooping gaily on you and laughing, as you take the register. It’s a fact of teaching, like barnacles on a boat. Because it seems so minor, it feels like it should be easy to handle: and so it is- individually. Any teacher that can manage to inhale and exhale can deal with a lone pupil clicking the lid of his biro a couple of times. But a whole class doing it, intermittently, while others make sinister humming noises at the same time as the whole back row are placing bets on when your stack will blow, for how long, and how high….that’s a different level.
If you’re a member of the human race you will have a limit on your patience. You will also probably have a limited number of things that you can focus on and deal with before you feel like you are surrounded by a room of break-dancing oompah loompahs. It’s amazing how it only takes a few annoyances to drive you insane. So there are two dangers in low-level disruption:
It happens a lot
It’s hard to put out a dozen fires at once
Pupils know all this stuff already. They know that they can put the mercury of your blood pressure through the rafters like a fairground try-your-strength . Most pupils don’t have the guts to stand up to you directly- believe it or not, they are only kids, and despite the reputation some have for torching orphanages and selling their grannies on E-Bay, most are still pretty intimidated by grown-ups. So instead of standing up to in you lesson and pirouetting through the class, most will amuse themselves with the time-honoured past-time of teacher baiting. Unlike bear baiting, this is still legal. Understand that the motives for this kind of behaviour are broadly, in three categories:
To watch you change colour
To distract you and themselves from a fascinating lesson on Jewish food law
Because they’ve switched off so much they are trying to occupy themselves. Poor loves. What on earth is therefore them to do in a classroom? Oh yes…
Most teachers (especially new ones) are very switched on to bad behaviour- it leaps out at them, begging to be squashed. So when several things happen at once, or something happens repetitively, it gets extremely stressful, extremely quickly. The most important thing to try to do is to not let it disturb you, or get under your skin. Yeah, I know- easy right? But most of this disruption is aimed at entertaining themselves, pure and simple. If they see you having an aneurysm, there’s nothing more guaranteed to get them to repeat the behaviour. If they see that you aren’t bothered by their low level japes, then they will soon get bored and look for something else to do. With luck, it’ll be your lesson.
How do you keep your temper? It involves a change in your attitude. You have to not care so much about it. You have to realise that it’s not personal (they don’t know you) and that you’re doing a job, not raising your children. And you absolutely have to know, deep down in your giblets that any misbehaviour will be punished- if not in the classroom, then hereafter (and I don’t mean in Heaven.). The simple knowledge of this- and I mean you have to know it- will give you the satisfaction to keep your cool when even Fonzie would be spitting feathers.
Low level behaviour is also a way of keeping themselves occupied in other ways- quite simply they’re often just bored- attention wandering all over the archipelago of your educational voyage. This book looks specifically at behaviour, so I won’t dwell on the necessity of keeping lesson pace brisk and interesting- mainly because all the bells and whistles on a lesson won’t get them motivated if the teacher can’t deal with the behaviour. If George Bush were a teacher (rather than a clownish nightmare) he would have said ‘It’s the Behaviour, stupid.’ So how do you deal with the actual behaviour itself?
Apart from pretending that you don’t actually want to burst the miscreants like balloons, the main things you need to do are name taking and ass kicking. That’s it. There is no way to get around it- this is what you have to do to be a teacher in an even remotely challenging school. A bin man has to lift rubbish; a priest will preach; a lawyer will…well, do whatever lawyers do that requires me to mortgage my soul every time I need one. You’re not a failure if you have to do this stuff. You’re a success. You’re a professional. You’re doing your job right. You’ll do it for as long as you teach. Never ask, “When will I be able to stop telling them off?” Because the answer is, “Maybe never, brothers and sisters.”
The procedures for handling the small stuff is easy in theory, and soul-destroying in practise. It is entirely a war of attrition, and the key thing is for you to win. You mustn’t flinch, or blink, or break eye contact. Do that and you’ll win. Don’t do it, and you’ll be fighting the same battle for as long as you teach. So what do you want to do?
Taken from ‘The Behaviour Guru’ by Tom Bennett, published by Continuum.